It's that time of the year where light is scarce and night is long.
Depression is photosensitive.
As much as I love the holidays, the cheer, the family, the time off for my birthday.....
It just hangs in the back, and jumps when I am not guarding against it.
The beast comes out in the dark of the year.
I hate it.
I try and fend it off with my medication (which helps immensely - I'd likely be immobile or suicidal during this time if I didn't have it). I try and fend it off with distractions like movies and TV and video games or music, but you can only do that so far. My wife is a comfort like no other. But still, occasionally, the beast jumps, and lands.
Tonight is one of those nights.
As much as I have come to terms with it, and have structured my life around the ways to keep it at bay, I really hate my depression. And on days like today, I can really feel it hating me right back.
Note (Jan 7th) - I've pretty much gotten over the funk I was in when I wrote this - thanks for the well wishes.
3 comments:
Sorry you are feeling down, we all have depression and our own respective (or should I say disrespectful) Beasts. May you have a much brighter B-day and a Happy one even though you won't be playing the game. Have a very Happy Birthday!! you and your wife have fun.
Soon there will be more light. I hate this time of year too...it doesn't help things at all.
Hey, if it helps, Happy Birthday!
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